Hugh and I just spent some time loving on our Sweet Mattie. (Hugh has already started calling her Mattie B (Mattie Rebecca)). Last night was the first time that I was able to see her since holding her just for a few minutes before they whisked her away to NICU.
Seeing your precious newborn Baby laying there in that NICU bed with wires all over her, big tubes down her throat, and her chest vigorously straining to breathe has been absolutely heart-wrenching. Oh, how I want to hold her in my arms and comfort her. Every time we round the corner turning into her pod, I become fearful and nervous. I have to continue to lift her up the Lord and trust HIM. I think the worst thus far has been her silent cry, seeing her mouth wide open crying out, yet not hearing a sound come out of her mouth, due to the ventilator tube that goes between her vocal chords. It's as if she is in a sound-proof room screaming. Jesus, please comfort our sweet Mattie in ways that we can't. Hold her when we are told we can't. Please dry up the fluid build up in her lungs. And Lord may our faith and trust in You grow ever stronger, as we walk away from the NICU to return to our room without her to close out the day.
The Lord has been so gracious and merciful to us these past two days, as He will continue to be. Example? Here's one, although there are many. We see His hand and guidance in how He led us to the best NICU hospital around, although that was the last thing I expected we would need here. I don't have much longer to type as my pass only lets me out of our floor for an hour, but I do want to give all praise and glory to the Lord for His protection over both of us. It's been a crazy few days. I'm feeling better by the hour. Please pray for breastfeeding as I'm having to pump until she's able to try to breastfeed.
I'm so sorry to write such a choppy post, but I do have to go. I will update soon and if I had a way to upload a picture, I would. One camera has a full card, another the AA batteries are all drained out and we don't have a laptop. BUT we'll figure out a way somehow. She's absolutely beautiful. Love you all. THANK YOU for praying for us. You have no idea how grateful we are.
6 comments:
So good to hear this. We have been praying. Love you!
God is amazing! So glad to hear you're feeling better and that Mattie B is improving. But I know how hard it is to want to comfort your baby when you can't. Our Heavenly Father will comfort her, and He will comfort you, too.
You all are in our prayers.
Love,
Bill, Julie, Rebekah and Micah
P.S.
Mattie B is simply beautiful. I just love round baby cheeks, and that head full of dark hair. Precious!
So glad to hear that everything is going well with you and baby! I've been thinking about you and Mattie a lot. You are in our prayers and I hope that she will be out of the NICU soon. Hang in there.....God is absolutely amazing and is taking good care of you! I'm sure you will get to hold your sweet girl soon. Good luck with the breast feeding. Love to all of you!
~Robin and Jacob
Hollie,
So glad to hear this wonderful update! We have been praying for each of you!
Let me know if you want me to try to upload the pictures your Dad emailed?
Mariah
OF COURSE Hugh has already nicknamed her!! I love it! : )
It's so true, Hollie....all those days of doctor drama, the agony of "not knowing," and even your (nearly) last minute decision to deliver where you did - PRAISE HIM for His sovereignty over all of that!
I am praying for you fervently, my friend....specifically that you are restored to complete health and wholeness quickly. Know you are loved dearly....
Tell sweet Mattie B to get well and come home - hopefully she & Tucker can play together soon!!
I'm glad you had the experience to prepare you earlier last week with Sam, actually. I'm so sorry you had to experience this for yourself. Poor Mattie. But, God is in control. Lean on Him, as I know you are already doing.
We love you and are continuing to pray for you.
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