Hello everyone!! Ages have passed since we've posted, and as every day passed, I thought about posting all of the wonderful pictures we took of Laney, and I thought about elaborating on our experience at the hospital and since being home; however, the buck stopped there as there was and is simply no time for anything besides sleeping, eating, and feeding Laney, and this is with the help of amazing Hugh and my super hero mom. I have so much to say and no idea as to where to start. Let's see if I can give a quick synopsis of everything up to this point...
The delivery: As many of you know, the Lord blessed Hugh and I with the chance to be experience Laney's first moments in this world. We did not find out if the prednisone (steroid) boosted my platelets until 2 hours prior to the cesarean section when we arrived that morning at the hospital. As you can imagine, we were so SO thankful for such a blessing from the Lord. My parents had arrived Tuesday, the day before the delivery. All morning long I focused on staying positive in my thoughts and focused on the joy of Hugh and I meeting our daughter for the very first time. I wanted to be obedient to Philippians 4:8, "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in everything by PRAYER and PETITION present your requests TO GOD, and the PEACE of God which transcends ALL understanding will GUARD your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus," and Philippians 4:10, "Think on things that are good, noble, righteous, pure, lovely, admirable, if anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY, think about such things." I wanted to flesh out my beliefs of God being in TOTAL control and Him being my All-Sufficient One, meeting every need. I can say that we were focused in check-in and in being prepped for surgery.... but when Hugh and I split up so that I could be wheeled into the operating room so that my Spinal could be inserted, my fears got the best of me. I was very nervous and scared. I'm moved emotionally as I reminisce. I am not fond of the c-section experience looking back, but I had no choice, and Laney had to come out. I was wheeled into a very cold operating room, and as my eyes fell upon the metal utensils and the big lights above me, my fears ran rampant all over me. The spinal was inserted, and as I laid there listening to the cling-clang of the OR in prep for the surgery that was only minutes away, I kept asking my "comforting nurse" if I was supposed to feel tingly, if I was supposed to still feel stimulation, if I was supposed to feel this or that....she could see in my countenance how scared I was. My arms were strapped down, but I didn't feel them really strapped down. My arms and hands were shaking as a nurse comforted me by holding my sweaty palm. I tried to breathe deeply to calm my jitters and my inside shakes. The many lights came on above me, oxygen was inserted in my nose, the curtain was hung directly in front of me, and the nurses kept asking me if I could feel the cold alcohol swipes on my tummy. Before I knew it, the nurse bent over above me, holding my cheeks and asked if I could feel anything. My answer was no. "The surgery has started," she said with excitement in her eyes. I asked as to Hugh's whereabouts and was told that he was coming. I began to smell something, so I tried to breathe through my mouth and ignore the smell. Later I found out that the burning smell was to help control the bleeding as they were going through each layer to get to Laney.
Finally, Hugh arrived and his hand took the place of the nurse's hand that was holding mine. Hugh had to sit behind in a chair at my heat behind the curtain, and as we anxiously awaited the next few minutes, we were both moved to tears. The nurses curiously watched us and told us that not every surgery do the parents get so moved. We were only minutes away until we were to meet Laney. I wanted to know her hair color, for I could picture that immediately before seeing her. At this point, we had to come to grips with what the Lord was to give to us in a daughter. We didn't know if she was perfectly healthy or if she had Down Syndrome, birth defects, a cleft lip, Torticolis(a cricked neck from being breech)....but she was ours and was a gift no matter what. You're never promised a perfectly healthy baby, even though we always anticipate and hope for the best. I heard a gush of some type of liquid and immediately felt a pressure release. I asked, "Did ya'll just break my water?" "Yes." I could feel the difference...and as they moved through me, I began to feel odd sensations. The nurse bent down again and warned me about the pressure, tugging and pulling that I was about to experience. My pain receptors were numbed, but I could still feel pressure. Sure enough, I felt my belly being mashed, tugged upon and a lot of pulling. All of sudden, her cry filled the room!! She had arrived!! She was here! She was FINALLY here!!!!! Is she healthy? What does she look like? When can we see her? Hugh was asked to stand up and look at her. His joyful sobbing moved me, for I was experiencing her presence through his reaction. "She has a head of black hair Hollie!!!" We both absolutely LOST IT. Words cannot describe that moment. The doctors held her up over my belly under the lights so I could see her. She was soaking wet, a whole head of dark hair matted down on her head, and the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever beheld.
Beautiful. I never knew a baby could look so beautiful. She was perfect in every way. I instantly forgot that I was in the cold O.R., that I was nervous, and that I was in major surgery.
Laney was quickly whisked away through the double doors, and "Dad" was asked to follow. In the baby room where they assessed her health, Hugh was able to get video footage and pictures. I am so thankful for that footage for it feels like I experienced it. As Hugh followed the nurses to another room, he ran into all of our family in the hallway, which was incredible. They all got to see her when she was just 10 minutes old.
I was not able to hold Laney for about another hour, but I was in the room with her and Hugh about 25 minutes later. Talk about torture. They were still assessing her. Holding her was amazing. I was in awe and was speechless. We were then wheeled to a recovery room.
I have to stop here for it's time for her to wake up and eat. I have so much more to update you on: the recovery, the fatigue, the tears, the challenging trials we faced being 4 days in the hospital, the trip home, the emotional first night.....hopefully, I'll be able to update you on a few of these very soon.
Thank you for your AMAZING prayers and encouragement. I wish I could personally call you all and update you. We've received many voice mails and emails....please know that we will try to call you asap. Hugh is in the middle of Seminary finals...(believe it or not)...so mom and I are holding the fort down until Friday. Please, PLEASE pray for the Lord to bring all of the material to remembrance. We love you!!! Please, if you'd like to pray for us, here are a few things:
-rest for Hugh, myself and my mom
-Laney to gain weight(we have an appointment tomorrow-Wednesday)
-confidence for me that I can do this
-for the day that my mom leaves(oh, it will be a hard day)
-for my hormones to balance out
-Daisy would continue to be amazingly comfortable with Laney
We love you!!!
Hugh, Hollie, Laney, & Daisy
The delivery: As many of you know, the Lord blessed Hugh and I with the chance to be experience Laney's first moments in this world. We did not find out if the prednisone (steroid) boosted my platelets until 2 hours prior to the cesarean section when we arrived that morning at the hospital. As you can imagine, we were so SO thankful for such a blessing from the Lord. My parents had arrived Tuesday, the day before the delivery. All morning long I focused on staying positive in my thoughts and focused on the joy of Hugh and I meeting our daughter for the very first time. I wanted to be obedient to Philippians 4:8, "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in everything by PRAYER and PETITION present your requests TO GOD, and the PEACE of God which transcends ALL understanding will GUARD your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus," and Philippians 4:10, "Think on things that are good, noble, righteous, pure, lovely, admirable, if anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY, think about such things." I wanted to flesh out my beliefs of God being in TOTAL control and Him being my All-Sufficient One, meeting every need. I can say that we were focused in check-in and in being prepped for surgery.... but when Hugh and I split up so that I could be wheeled into the operating room so that my Spinal could be inserted, my fears got the best of me. I was very nervous and scared. I'm moved emotionally as I reminisce. I am not fond of the c-section experience looking back, but I had no choice, and Laney had to come out. I was wheeled into a very cold operating room, and as my eyes fell upon the metal utensils and the big lights above me, my fears ran rampant all over me. The spinal was inserted, and as I laid there listening to the cling-clang of the OR in prep for the surgery that was only minutes away, I kept asking my "comforting nurse" if I was supposed to feel tingly, if I was supposed to still feel stimulation, if I was supposed to feel this or that....she could see in my countenance how scared I was. My arms were strapped down, but I didn't feel them really strapped down. My arms and hands were shaking as a nurse comforted me by holding my sweaty palm. I tried to breathe deeply to calm my jitters and my inside shakes. The many lights came on above me, oxygen was inserted in my nose, the curtain was hung directly in front of me, and the nurses kept asking me if I could feel the cold alcohol swipes on my tummy. Before I knew it, the nurse bent over above me, holding my cheeks and asked if I could feel anything. My answer was no. "The surgery has started," she said with excitement in her eyes. I asked as to Hugh's whereabouts and was told that he was coming. I began to smell something, so I tried to breathe through my mouth and ignore the smell. Later I found out that the burning smell was to help control the bleeding as they were going through each layer to get to Laney.
Finally, Hugh arrived and his hand took the place of the nurse's hand that was holding mine. Hugh had to sit behind in a chair at my heat behind the curtain, and as we anxiously awaited the next few minutes, we were both moved to tears. The nurses curiously watched us and told us that not every surgery do the parents get so moved. We were only minutes away until we were to meet Laney. I wanted to know her hair color, for I could picture that immediately before seeing her. At this point, we had to come to grips with what the Lord was to give to us in a daughter. We didn't know if she was perfectly healthy or if she had Down Syndrome, birth defects, a cleft lip, Torticolis(a cricked neck from being breech)....but she was ours and was a gift no matter what. You're never promised a perfectly healthy baby, even though we always anticipate and hope for the best. I heard a gush of some type of liquid and immediately felt a pressure release. I asked, "Did ya'll just break my water?" "Yes." I could feel the difference...and as they moved through me, I began to feel odd sensations. The nurse bent down again and warned me about the pressure, tugging and pulling that I was about to experience. My pain receptors were numbed, but I could still feel pressure. Sure enough, I felt my belly being mashed, tugged upon and a lot of pulling. All of sudden, her cry filled the room!! She had arrived!! She was here! She was FINALLY here!!!!! Is she healthy? What does she look like? When can we see her? Hugh was asked to stand up and look at her. His joyful sobbing moved me, for I was experiencing her presence through his reaction. "She has a head of black hair Hollie!!!" We both absolutely LOST IT. Words cannot describe that moment. The doctors held her up over my belly under the lights so I could see her. She was soaking wet, a whole head of dark hair matted down on her head, and the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever beheld.
Beautiful. I never knew a baby could look so beautiful. She was perfect in every way. I instantly forgot that I was in the cold O.R., that I was nervous, and that I was in major surgery.
Laney was quickly whisked away through the double doors, and "Dad" was asked to follow. In the baby room where they assessed her health, Hugh was able to get video footage and pictures. I am so thankful for that footage for it feels like I experienced it. As Hugh followed the nurses to another room, he ran into all of our family in the hallway, which was incredible. They all got to see her when she was just 10 minutes old.
I was not able to hold Laney for about another hour, but I was in the room with her and Hugh about 25 minutes later. Talk about torture. They were still assessing her. Holding her was amazing. I was in awe and was speechless. We were then wheeled to a recovery room.
I have to stop here for it's time for her to wake up and eat. I have so much more to update you on: the recovery, the fatigue, the tears, the challenging trials we faced being 4 days in the hospital, the trip home, the emotional first night.....hopefully, I'll be able to update you on a few of these very soon.
Thank you for your AMAZING prayers and encouragement. I wish I could personally call you all and update you. We've received many voice mails and emails....please know that we will try to call you asap. Hugh is in the middle of Seminary finals...(believe it or not)...so mom and I are holding the fort down until Friday. Please, PLEASE pray for the Lord to bring all of the material to remembrance. We love you!!! Please, if you'd like to pray for us, here are a few things:
-rest for Hugh, myself and my mom
-Laney to gain weight(we have an appointment tomorrow-Wednesday)
-confidence for me that I can do this
-for the day that my mom leaves(oh, it will be a hard day)
-for my hormones to balance out
-Daisy would continue to be amazingly comfortable with Laney
We love you!!!
Hugh, Hollie, Laney, & Daisy
10 comments:
Wow, that really is beautiful. Thanks, Hollie.
Okay, I'm sitting here bawling in my coffee... it reminded me so much of the wonderful day maggie was born. I am so overjoyed for you three. Love you so much. And yes, those hormones WILL balance out. You can do it!!
shannon
Oh my goodness, could I get a tissue please!! Hearing your step by step also reminds me of the day Ethan was born. Even though we didn't have the OR and the C-section, the anticipation, excitement, fear, and tears are all the same. We are praying for you guys because we remember those first weeks. They are exhausting but YOU CAN DO IT HOLLIE!!! Like Shannon said, your hormones balance out and you'll recover and Laney will gain weight and eventually ya'll will get some rest. Hang in there!! We are so happy for ya'll and can't wait to see that precious baby in person!! Love you guys~ Kimberly
HOLLIE - ARE YOU WEARING MAKEUP IN THE HOSPITAL? I didn't even pack any.
Hollie,
I'm just sitting here all teared up! Isn't God's plan for creating life and bringing it all about SO amazing? It is hard to put it all into words, but it looks like you've moved all of us mommy's to remember those same wonderful first moments-what a treat!
I know you are doing great, and will do beautifully when your mom leaves-I remember feeling the same way. I am just a phone call and 15 minutes away-call me anytime!
Just prayed for yall again this morning...His hand is mightily upon yall.
Steph Lyon
Sniff...Sniff. Sheesh...the tears are rolling now! That was an amazing story. It's great to hear how parents feel on the other side. I'm usually the nurse in the OR ready to take care of the baby. You've given me a different and helpful perspective. I can't wait to enjoy and experience all those feelings one day. Laney is beautiful and we can't wait to see more pictures. You and Laney look beautiful in that pic! Hang in there....those first weeks I'm sure will fly by. Enjoy them! We love you!
Kelly (For some reason Blogger won't let me in!)
I cried so hard the day my mom left! I think everyone feels like they can't do it alone. But you CAN! You are in my prayers.
Hollie - I pray for you each night that I get up to feed Samuel in the middle of the night. Hang in there sweetie - these may be exhausting/emotional days, but they are ones you will cherish forever. And girl, you look awesome!! What a hot mommy!! :)
With love, the Paynes (your beta blogger does not like my blogger username!)
Hollie,
I love you sweet girl and we have been praying for you throughout each day. You can do it sweetie! The hormones will level out, your sleep & Laney's will increase, and you will recover from the c-section. Please don't feel like you have to be superwoman! The first few months are all about simply surviving the day/night! Please call if you need anything at all, day or night! I love you, Court
Dear Hollie:
You are so beautiful and so is Laney. Just rest when Laney is resting!! All will come together and God will give you strength. Love you so much, Aunt Lisa
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