Sisterhood

Since moving to North Carolina, I now consider myself a middle school and a high school teacher. After finding out that I was going to teach a middle school class, I had begun to dread teaching those wild and crazy kids, even before I had met them. I jumped the gun and didn’t even give them a chance to prove themselves to me. However, after having taught them for almost a semester and a half now, I am happy to say that they have proved me wrong. I’ve grown a deep, motherly-like love for them (even though I’m not a mother yet, which is weird.) They are absolutely precious and have my heart. Being a middle school teacher this year has really changed me. The kids have actually taught me a lot about myself. They’ve helped me realize something about myself…
As a young, working woman in her twenties, newly married, and having just moved to a new place to attend Seminary, I’ve realized that I’ve grown cold in my dependence on other women in my life. In college, I was blessed with such wonderful, close-knit, sisterly friendships that remain to this day, but in a different way.


We are still very close, and we will always be there for each other as we live out this life, but we are all scattered across the U.S., so the practical, daily side of our friendship has been put on hold for a while. Maybe one day it will be reestablished again on a daily basis, and what a joy that would be!! However, as a woman in Christ, I NEED that fellowship, that dependence, that intimate bonding, and the responsibility is mine to seek out that type of fellowship wherever I’m planted. Being a lone-ranger Christian is not very wise, especially for women who need dependence on other women. My mom has been my best friend over the past few years, and I’m SO THANKFUL for her. However, she lives in Georgia. I never intended to isolate myself over the past year from developing deep friendships with other sisters in Christ, but moving to a new state, working full time, still establishing and growing our fairly new marriage, working in our fixer-upper for the past two months, and for the longest time with no church in which to plant ourselves, time to build and seek out those friendships was a hard thing by which to come. Yet, thorough time, we have found a church where we plan to plant ourselves, and there I have found many women who are virtuous, encouraging, and wonderful. I now see how lonely I was over the past six months concerning sisterly friendships, but at the same time, good did come out of this time. Our marriage has grown as Hugh and I have leaned on each other and have gone through many “seasons” to purify and strengthen our marriage. I am very thankful for that!

So, how does this reflective time relate to my sweet, yet wild and crazy middle school kids and what they have taught me about myself? The other day, after having already contemplated the fact that I need to seek out and get involved in womanly ministry, I saw these three precious, little sixth grade girls walking down the hall together. One of the girls had her arm around her best friend's shoulder, while the other friend was holding her best friend's hand. With arms hooked and hands held, secure in their friendship, they made their way down the hallway chatting, reacting to news and just loving on each other. Their physical response really showed how much they depended on each other and how they were there for each other. They looked like the wizard of oz coming down the hallway. They were delighting in each other.
It was a beautiful picture of Christ-like love for one another. One girl was sharing some “off the press” sixth grade news while the other friend listened with a sympathic ear supporting her. I thought I could have shed a tear in that moment, for at what stage in life do women feel the need to grow independent of their sisterly friendships? How come we don't see that anymore with older women? I want to people to see me when I'm in my 70's, laughing, hugging, and shouldering my granny best friends. Does growing up pressure one into becoming isolated and cold? Do misconceptions of marriage deceive women into thinking that marriage and husbands will be able to meet every need of a woman? Only the Lord can meet ALL of our needs, but a lot of the time, as a wife, I feel like I expect Hugh to meet all of my needs or I think I can meet all of my needs myself or bear my struggles alone. I must remind myself to re-center God has my All-Sufficient One. Does the media, the avenue where women are inappropriately exposed, cause our flesh (anger, jealousy, insecurity, comparing) to rise up within us and isolate ourselves from other women? This is NOT the abundant life God has intended us to live as women! We need other women! Honestly, I myself have been deceived and have habored all of these deceptions at some point in my life, but now am thankful that I see the purity in our need for friendship so much clearer. I’m starting to be more proactive in this area. As a teacher, I see how students interact with one another and early on, girls begin to treat each other meanly. I just don’t understand it, but in Christ, friendships with other women are edifying, loving, accepting, forgiving, safe, with no flying defenses, no high walls in our hearts or pointing fingers…etc.. I realized this once I got to college and experienced Christ-centered friendships for the first time(Liz, Kimberly, Tara, MM...all the BSU ladies...oh, the list could go on FOREVER AND EVER!)

The other week, I was asked by the middle school yearbook staff to provide a picture of me when I was young to go into the yearbook. As I searched through the already-scanned pictures from our wedding slideshow, I came across some pictures of me and my girlfriends when I was in elementary school. I have posted some here.(We were playing dress up.) I have always been a bit shy at first(believe it or not) until I feel like I can trust, confide in, and really bear all to my girlfriends. But look at how one can flourish in a safe, loving environment! At that age (in the picture), I didn’t have any boundaries or walls in my heart. The other week, I remember thinking, upon seeing these pictures of myself, how I wanted to return to such liberating, loving friendships with my sisterly friends in Christ. I’ve missed “them” these past few months, and now I am already making time for such bonding and memory-filled moments. I hope you are too(male or female).....